Well, well, well, look who's decided to spice things up a bit! You've taken a brave leap into the world of strap-ons and harnesses, haven't you? And let's be honest, it's about as confusing as trying to assemble an IKEA flat-pack without the instructions. But don't worry, we've got your back (and your front).
Understanding Strap-Ons and Harnesses
Brace yourself, dear reader! We're about to unlock the magical realm of Strap-Ons and Harnesses. Now, let's get it straight, strap-ons are not a myth! They're as real as your neighbour's annoyingly loud late-night karaoke sessions.
Strap-Ons, with their partner in crime, Harnesses, are breathtaking duo that offer a whirlwind of pleasure for everyone involved. Now, you're probably wondering, "What is a Strap-On?" So, let's break it down in a way that even your Aunt Mildred would understand.
Think of a strap-on as a phallic superhero that needs a robust harness just like Batman needs his Bat Belt. The harness is the base, aiding in positioning and control during your bedroom rodeos. Picture it like wearing a pair of snuggly fitting jeans holding an eager cucumber... except, more comfortable... and certainly more pleasurable. Talk about multi-tasking!
See, using a strap-on can be a hoot. Remember, it’s not just for superhero impersonation, there are countless ways to harness the power of this dynamic duo. Either as a fantastic libido booster or as cheeky tools for exploring power dynamics, they are making waves in bedrooms across New Zealand.
Being an inclusive bunch, strap-ons and harnesses aren’t picky about who can use them. They are heroes serving all genders and sexual orientations, spreading joy wherever they venture.
There's more, dear reader! Did you know that strap-ons and their trusty sidekick harnesses offer an array of choices and designs? It's like a buffet of pleasure, where you can pick the perfect combo that tickles your fancy (or other places). From different materials, sizes, and shapes, the choice is as extensive as New Zealand's sheep population!
Don't just take our word for it! We've had so many lovers tell us that strap-ons and harnesses spice up their intimate life, just as sizzling as a Kiwi summer BBQ! One couple even told us it was like adding hot chips, aioli, to their love life routine. Now that's what we call a tantalising experience!
Benefits of Using Strap-Ons and Harnesses
Now you've warmed up to the idea it's time to divulge just a wee bit on the advantages of introducing these dynamic duos to your life.
Ignite the Missing Spark
First, let's get jiggy with it. You know that elusive spark you've been after in your intimate routine? Well, don’t just lie there hoping it'll arbitrarily meet you halfway. Strap-ons and harnesses can reignite that spark in an extraordinary way. Boring bedtime norms are ousted and exhilarating explorations commence. You get to explore different elements of intimacy that were hitherto, well, uncharted territory!
The Inclusivity Factor
Speaking of uncharted territory these buddies help you redefine the boundaries of pleasure. Why just stick to the regular when there's so much more to explore. We've received tons of feedback from folks who affirm that strap-ons and harnesses reciprocate pleasure on both the giving and receiving end. They are essentially for everyone regardless of gender and orientation. They laugh in the face of conventionality and say "Hey you! break those norms and embrace the joy of inclusivity!" Or something to that effect.
Ego What?
Here's where it gets interesting. When you wear a strap-on, you're stripping down the role that conventional society has woven for you. Ego, you say? Nah, ain't nobody got time for that. You're officials in charge of your own intimate journey. The power dynamics shift and open you up to a completely new experience of passion and connection, a titillated tit for tat perhaps?
Let's not forget about the variety on offer here. We've got a buffet of choices for you. Whether it's a petite or a larger-than-life strap-on or a leather or a foam harness, your whims and fancies are catered to.
Whoa, enough said for today, isn't it? Did someone open a window? 'coz things sure got steamy in here.
Types of Strap-Ons and Harnesses
Before we dive into the world of strap-ons and harnesses, don't forget to grab your snorkelling goggles and your sense of humour. Because, let's admit it, unexplored territories can often be more thrilling than a pint of lager at the local pub.
Firstly, get to know your tools. There's a veritable smorgasbord of choices out there. From the modest beginner's set to high-end leather harnesses that look like they've walked straight out of an avant-garde fashion show. And yes, they all have the potential to spice up your love life.
Imagine for a moment, you're just an innocent kiwi wandering in the aisles of Peaches & Cream. You stumble upon two main types of harnesses: the g-string and the jockstrap.
The G-string type is exactly what it sounds like. It's a one-strap style that runs between your legs and around your waist. It's minimalist, you might say, and relatively discreet for those surprise visits from the mother-in-law.
Then there's the jockstrap style harness. It's a beast on its own! It has two straps that run around your bum, essentially framing your derriere like a piece of fine art. One look at you prancing around in this, and your partner won't be able to resist.
The strap-ons themselves come in variations too. There are hollow dildos, vibrating dildos, double-sided dildos, and the list goes on. Yes, you've guessed it, there's a world out there to explore that's more colourful than a packet of Jelly Tip biscuits.
Caught your attention, didn't we? Now, let's see these options in a table.
| Types of Harnesses | Types of Strap-Ons |
|---|---|
| G-string | Hollow Dildos |
| Jockstrap | Vibrating Dildos |
| Double-Sided Dildos |
Choosing the Right Strap-On and Harness
So you're ready to dive headfirst into the world of strap-ons and harnesses and really shake up your bedroom teas? Good for you! But, as with all great things, variety is the name of the game. And not every toy is created equal. Here's your cheeky guide to selecting the perfect amour for your amorous adventures, without the post-purchase regret.
Identify Your Needs
Well, this isn't shopping for cereal at the supermarket, is it? The first thing to recognise is what you want the strap-on or harness for. Looking to switch up control in your relationship? A hollow dildo might be your new best mate! Love a bit of vibration in your life? Nah, don't go nicking your partner's electric toothbrush, get a vibrating strap-on instead!
Size Matters
No, not that way - get your mind out of the gutter! We’re talking about the fit of the harness. Everybody's different, and your harness needs to be too. From G-string styles, jockstrap ones, there's something for everyone. The right fit is crucial for your comfort, so choose wisely. If it's too loose, you'll be wiggling about, chasing a moving target all night. Too tight? Well, you won’t be focusing on the fun. Trust us.
Material World
Don't let "latex" or "leather" or “nylon” intimidate you! They aren’t intruders, but your future bedfellows. It's not just about the tactile thrill, but easy to clean wins the day every time! Latex and leather do deliver on the naughty excitement but it does require more looking after. Nylon, while not as racy, is dead easy to clean, meaning you spend less time scrubbing and more time, well, you know.
Functionality and Design
Some strap-ons and harnesses come with thoughtfully designed pockets for bullet vibrators. Others have openings for your own bits and bobs. Explore your options, and pick a design that best suits your fantasies.
At the end of it all, 'lil naughty you will find the perfect harness or strap-on, and your secret weapon will propel your bedroom olympics to new, dazzling heights. Now, enjoy the swing of things in there, won't you?
How to Use a Strap-On and Harness
You've armed yourself with a fantastic new strap-on and harness, chosen after much deliberation over your needs and preferred material. Go, you! But you're likely wondering, how on earth do I get the best out of this contraption? No worries, mate! We've got your back... and your front.
The first rule is simple: Communication is key! Yes, talking about sex can be about as comfortable as a hedgehog in your knickers, but it's vital for enjoying your new toy. Talk about your likes, dislikes, and kinks. Be honest with your partner. You might just discover they're into the same barmy stuff as you are!
Next up, Familiarise Yourself. Spend some quality time with your new buddy, not in the nuddy, just yet. Practice attaching and adjusting the harness, fit the dildo in, and strut around like the sexual deity that you clearly are. Walk up and down, twirl, jump - feel how it moves with you. Practice makes perfect!
Don't forget about Lubrication. Whether you're sailing down under or exploring caverns, never embark without proper lubrication. Just remember two things:
- Water-based lubes are safe with all toys, but may need reapplication.
- Silicone lubes last longer but can damage silicone toys.
So, put on your best, slippery altruist act and slick up!
Foreplay First. Don't be a nong and go all guns blazing into the action. Work up to it—warm up, tease, touch. Plus, nothing quite says ‘I’m ready for some fun’ like an extended session of foreplay.
Finally, Respect your Limits. Keep in mind, this isn’t a rugby match, there are no trophies for enduring pain. If something feels off, stop and adjust. Remember, comfort leads to better pleasure!
Tips for Pleasurable Strap-On and Harness Experience
Alright folks, before we dive headlong into the depths of close, physical relations, it's always good to have a wee chit-chat first. So, first up on the old checklist - communication. Yeah, it's not rocket science, but you'd be surprised how many folks let the excitement get to them and forget this step. Discuss your wants and limits openly. Remember, you're not auctioneers, you've got all the time in the world, so speak!
Next up is all about getting to know your new companion, the equipment. Now don't just sit there staring at it. Introduce yourself, get to know each other, maybe take it out for dinner? Kidding aside, take some time understanding how it fits, adjusting straps, and finding the perfect place where it'll sit comfortably.
Hold onto your knickers because we're getting a bit naughty here - we're talking about lubrication. Now, much like a good Sunday roast, things go much smoother with a bit of extra gravy, if ya know what I mean. So don't skimp on the lube - it's a friend, not a foe.
We'll keep this train chugging right along into what could be the most delicious part of the whole rigmarole - foreplay. It's the flavoured butter on your pancake stack, folks, so don't rush this step. Do what you usually do, or try something new! Watch a titillating movie, role play, start with a sensual massage, and remember - this ain't no race, enjoy every second.
Lastly, we're onto limits. We're all a bit different, aren't we? What one person enjoys, another might not. So it's important to keep a finger on your own pulse and your partner's - make sure you're both comfortable at every step of this thrilling journey and respect one another's boundaries.
So there you have it - I've given you the keys to the kingdom! But remember, much like a good meal, the secret sauce is to have fun with it.
Safety and Hygiene Considerations
Don't go running off scared at the mention of safety and hygiene. You're not being sent back to Year 8 Health Class, swear. It's all part of the game kids - let's be adults about it!
Donning your strap-on is loads of fun, but hang on a second. Let's talk safety first before stuff gets steamy. Let's agree, you wouldn't jump off a plane without knowing your parachute is in perfect working order. Wouldn't want to pull the cord and find out too late, you've got a Disney Princess umbrella instead.
In our industry, we have a lovely saying: "No Glove, No Love". This stands, or should I say lies down, equally for toys as for folks. Barrier protection like condoms isn't only for warding off unwanted minis, they're also handy-dandy for keeping your toys clean. It's a win-win, really!
And here's a neat little trick: switch the rubber when swapping the receiver (you're welcome, keep the change). This way, you won't be playing pass-the-parcel with any naughty bacteria.
| FUN FACT | DID YOU KNOW? |
|---|---|
| The average Joe could have billions (!!) of bacteria playing house in their body. While most are helpful, some are only looking for trouble. |
Remember how mum always said wash your hands before dinner? Same rule applies here. Wash your toys before and after each use. And when you're done, store them properly. A dusty old sock won't do! Use toy-friendly cleaning solutions or warm soapy water.
Next in line, helmets up (or down) for Lubrication. Consider it the fairy godmother of sex toys - a little dab makes the ride magical. But beware - not all lubes play nice with all materials. Water-based lubricants are your besties when it comes to silicone toys.
So pop to your local Peaches & Cream shop, or just point your mouse to peachesandcream.co.nz, and grab the right cleaner and lube for your new BFF (strap-on).
Conclusion
So there you have it, folks! You're now armed with the lowdown on how to get down with strap-ons and harnesses. Remember, it's all about the three C's: Communication, Comfort, and Cleaning. No, not the funniest trio, but they'll keep your experience from becoming a comedy of errors.
Don't forget to lube up, gear up, and most importantly, warm up. After all, nobody likes to dive into the deep end without getting their toes wet first. And remember, respect is the name of the game, so always play within your partner's limits.
And finally, when it comes to safety, think of it like brushing your teeth. It's not the sexiest part of the day, but it sure beats the alternative. So, stay safe, stay clean, and enjoy your new adventures in the world of strap-ons and harnesses. You're about to have a load of fun. Don't say we didn't warn you!
